The Differences in Educational Focus

When I began college in August, 1976 at California State University, Sacramento, it was a month after my 17th birthday.  I had graduated a year-and-a-half early from high school and was ready, I believed, to take on the world. 

The truth was that only five months before, my girlfriend had given birth to our daughter and we were to be married that next January.  The reality of fatherhood and marriage were weighing heavily on my mind and heart and what I really wanted was to escape.  The move 200 miles away from my hometown was just that ticket. 

My first semester after matriculation was pretty good, actually.  My second semester, after my marriage, not so much.  With concerns about money, issues of parenthood and being a husband, and adjusting to life as a nearly-adult young man with very-adult responsibilities was taking its toll on my time at school.  My grades dropped, I began drinking, and by the end of my third year, I dropped out of college.  I wasn't even bright enough by that point to withdraw to keep my classes intact.

Although my parents were generous enough to pay for everything for those three years, I couldn't rationalize them paying for my wife and now two children any longer, especially because I wasn't doing very well.  I decided it was time to go to work.  Another three children later, returning to school became just a distant memory for me.

I tried to return twice.  Once in 1982, I attempted to return to Sac State, only to find my youngest daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, which would require a three year chemotherapy and radiation commitment.  It was more than I could do emotionally, so I once again left school.

The next time I tried to finish my degree was several years later at which time I had a mild heart attack. It appeared my returning to school was simply not in the cards for me.

After all my years at Sac State, I had completed nearly all my core work. Admittedly, I spent more time on my major in theatre and minor in music, but miraculously, I did seem to get some of the work done, albeit with glitches in my grade point average.

At the end of 2009, I decided I would try a different approach by going to an online school so that I would have a bit more freedom to complete my education.  The University of Phoenix was the perfect choice for me.  I could study communications in my home office, and they would accept my core credits from Sac State.

My first, five-week class began in March 2010 and went swimmingly.  I actually had a grade of 100% by the end of the course.  I was just about to begin my second class when I got the call that one of my closest cousins was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.  I had to be a part of the support team.  After all I had taken a leave of absense from work to care for my mother who eventually passed away from the same disease.  I knew what was ahead.

Since that class began, I've been to Santa Clara twice, for nearly a week each time.  I've gotten my work done, but it's suffering for the time away.  The difference now, though, is in my mindset. 

Although it is difficult, I'm also 50 years old and my ability to structure my schedule and adapt to challenges has changed. My priorities now dictate that I continue plodding down my educational path, if not receiving a score of 100% for this class, at least passing as I continue helping to care for my beloved cousin.  It will not be for long, sadly, and I can get back to the business at hand when his journey is complete.  I wouldn't miss this time with Joe for anything.

I keep thinking of the Kathy Bates' character, Evelyn, in Fried Green Tomatoes, when she had a parking space stolen by a couple of girls in a small car.  When Evelyn complained, one of the girls said, "Face it, lady. We're younger and faster."  They laughed and headed into the Piggly Wiggly supermarket. 

Evelyn had heard the story of Idgie Threadgoodes' alter ego, "Towanda," from Idgie's cousin, Ninny, played by Jessica Tandy.  Towanda was nearly a legendary hero for her bravery and sense of adventure in the tiny town of Whistlestop.  Bellowing the name, "Towanda!" Evelyn backed up her car and bashed the girls' car six times.  As the girls screamed in protest, Evelyn drove off, smiling and saying, "Face it, girls. I'm older and have better insurance!" (IMDb 2010)

That's the way I feel now; only, my version of this statement is, "I'm older and I have better self-assurance."

I know I can complete my education this time around.  The total time I have left is under two years.  At this point in my life, that's equivalent to 20 minutes.  I can work, go to school, and still help with my cousin's care.  I'll be tired, but what I lack in stamina, I've gained in wisdom and planning ability.

I've had a great career and my children are now 30 to 42 years old.  I have ten grandchildren.  My husband is happy and so am I.  It's time.

I haven't suffered for living this long without my degree, really.  I've had a great time and been able to support my family all these years.  It's just that knowing I haven't completed my degree has stuck in my craw as something I never completed.  It's not a good feeling. 

It's time to finish what I started 34 years ago.  Who knows?  Perhaps this degree will lead to another adventure.  I do so love an adventure!

Towanda!

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Reference:  Internet Movie Database, 2010, received from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101921/

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